Bind my wandering heart to Thee

"This is going to be the year."

The moment the words left my lips, the thought "yeah, right" replaced them in my mind. 24 years old, and the terror of broken expectations still wraps its fingers around the hope that comes with new beginnings.

I think back on the first day of each college semester. With the fresh start came a new sense of adventure, which meant new goals to accomplish, new relationships to form, new mountains to climb.

Recognize that feeling? The excitement of something beginning. Why, then, does it often seem as if these feelings slip away when the adventure isn't what we thought it would be? 

Suddenly, it's easy to compare ourselves to Israel, wandering in the desert 40 years. Didn't God promise us a new beginning when we trusted Him? Wasn't our journey in faith supposed to take us to the next exciting step in life? 

I have felt like a wanderer. Each day, I continue to journey, expecting and hoping I will soon experience the fulfillment of God's promise to me. 

Then the next step comes, and it's difficult, it's risky, it's not what I expected. And even in the midst of the excitement of simply moving forward, I grow anxious and frustrated that God isn't leading me the way I thought He would. 

Or He tells me to stay right where I am, and the period of no movement at all creates insecurities as I watch others move.

Thinking about Israel wandering in the desert for 40 years, I grow frustrated reading about their lack of faith, their complaining, their sinning out of impatience. I think, "Why couldn't they just be thankful that God led them out of slavery? Did the miracles they witnessed mean nothing to them? Did God's promise mean nothing to them?"

Sound familiar?    

According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, to wander is to "move about without a fixed course, aim or goal. To go idly about."

You might compare your life to a wandering Israelite, but your journey with Christ is no more of an aimless journey than Israel's journey. Just like God leading Israel each step of the way, He is leading you if you choose to follow. 

Even in weeks or years when God seems silent, He provides all you need for your temporary rest in the journey. Whenever Israel stopped for a time, it was at a specific place selected by God. He wasn't moving them without a fixed course or goal. 

And He's not moving you without a goal in mind. He's protecting you, preparing you and strengthening you before the next move.  

Believing that truth can encourage you to remain faithful to Christ. Your life is not an aimless journey. God is preparing you for what's next. But it's your choice to spend the journey frustrated and impatient or hopeful and obedient. 

So what do you think? Is this going to be the year?

Proverbs 18:8

Let's be real. When I ask the question of who has gossiped about someone you call a friend, don't go looking over your shoulder with that innocent expression that reads, "Well, certainly not me, but let's see who is raising their hands!"

Unfortunately, gossip is one of those sins that proves extremely enticing. We easily say that we just can't help ourselves at times. But the tricky thing about words is that they can hurt. A lot. Take a look at what Proverbs says when it comes to gossip.

Proverbs 18:8 ~ "The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts."

The next time you are about to use your words against someone, think about how those words would taste to the other person. Would it shame them? Impose guilt on them? Accuse them? Before you speak, ask yourself that if you can't say it to their face, do you really want to say it behind their back?

And most importantly, pray. The Spirit wants to guide you, and He fights for you. He is fighting to keep those words from slipping out of your mouth. Allow Him to transform the way you speak so the temptation grows weaker as you grow stronger.
   

Trust: It's not a four-letter word

Shattered glass.

In a split second, a smooth, clear sheet of glass can break into a thousand pieces. The edges that, just a moment ago, were smooth and round to prevent cuts could now slice your skin without a second thought.

So it is with trust.

When created, it provides a clear view of someone. You see them for who they are, smudges and all, yet it's in the smudges that we learn where we need to clean the glass.

But like glass, trust can shatter in a split second. With one word, one action, your grip on the glass slips, and it hits the ground.

Why, then, should we even bother building trust with anyone? People lose their balance all the time, causing the glass to fall from their hands. And so we'd rather just keep our glass tucked inside our jacket where we know it will always remain safe.

The thing about trust, though, is that it's something we all crave to use yet fear to use.

Who can you trust?

In his book "The Search for Significance," Robert S. McGee asks a question along the lines of if you aren't willing to trust God, then who are you willing to trust?

When struggling with trust issues, the first question you need to ask yourself is, "Who do I trust?" If you're placing all your trust in another human or even yourself, then there's problem number one.

We're commanded to trust in the Lord with all our hearts (Proverbs 3:5). When we place all trust in someone besides the Lord, we set ourselves and the other person up for failure, and we'll be sure to walk away with even more trust issues.

Why should we need to trust?

Placing our trust in the Lord does not mean only placing our trust in the Lord. God created us as relational beings, and that means we can dare to trust others.

We all have stories from the moments when our glass shattered. Most of those moments include the sting of cuts as we try to pick up the pieces.

But you know what those moments also include? Someone else coming alongside you to help pick up the pieces. Someone who's hands already have scars on them, scars that go much deeper than the sting of cuts. And He tells us to stand up and keep going.

We are not only commanded to trust the Lord, but we're also told to trust others. 1 Corinthians 13:7  tells us that love always trusts.

Not sometimes. Not when it's easy. Always.

This does not mean we trust every person we come in contact with. We are not commanded to trust all. The person who breaks into your neighbor's house, maybe you shouldn't trust that one. The person who shatters glass everywhere they turn, maybe don't trust that one either.

But we're given the opportunity in this life to be vulnerable with people who walk the same road we walk. There are people who desire to know you, live life with you , love you and trust you. Why would you want to keep them at arms length simply out of the fear that your glass will break?

The Challenge 

Trust isn't something we should stay away from in order to protect us. Don't cringe when you think about trusting people. Don't treat it like a curse word, a word you're trying to keep out of your vocabulary.

Here is my challenge to you: Find at least one person in your life who has given you reason to trust. This person has never given you a reason to not trust, yet you're still holding out as a result of fear.

Take your glass out of your jacket. Trust them with it. You may find them stronger than you thought.