Sitting
across the table, Jess Berry readjusted the black rectangular glasses that framed
her ocean blue eyes. Her blonde hair, swept up in a bun, sat at the back of her
head with stray pieces falling gracefully around her face. Her scarf hung in
loose folds around her neck, gently brushing against the sweater she styled.
“I
had never expected to feel any of that,” Jess said as she remembered how she
felt the first few days of her two month internship in Africa. “The Lord
softened my heart eventually and broke me of all of that. I realized that I
can’t love these people on my own. I love them and share Christ with them
because that’s what God calls me to do.”
Recounting
the two months she lived in Africa was not a difficult task for Jess as
memories flooded forth and filled the space around her. Her passion became
evident through her unfolding of memories as places came to life and the people
she grew to know and love took shape before her. A precious African baby suffering
from HIV came to life, his tiny body enveloped in a little blanket, fighting
for his life. A grown man also came to life, sobbing from the heartache that
accompanies the death of a child.
Jess
described how her love and desire for missions originated at the age of 17
after stumbling upon a YouTube video depicting starving children. This was the
first time she realized how poverty was affecting millions of children around
the world.
“I
would just watch YouTube videos over and over and just cry,” Jess said. “I feel
like the Lord began to develop a passion in me to help, to do something about
it.”
The
chance to live out her dream came the summer of 2011 with an internship
opportunity in Mozambique, Africa. When she listened to a health student speak
in one of her classes at Liberty of his experiences in Mozambique as an intern
helping the sick, Jess said she knew that this was the opportunity she had been
waiting for.
“I
(wanted) to go see for myself what (poverty) was and what my part was in all of
it…I knew for me it was going to be figuring out for long-term where I fit into
this. I know this is the heart of the Lord to help these people, to love these
people, to love the poor. I know the Bible says that and I know this is my
passion, but I don’t know where I fit into all of that. And so that was a huge
part of going to Africa.”
Preparing
for this venture came in different forms through mental, physical and spiritual
growth. The smile faded from Jess’s lips as she described how she knew that she
was about to face destitution in both physical and spiritual forces that would
challenge her beyond anything she had experienced.
“I
had dealt with the problem of evil and…unnecessary suffering theologically in
my mind. I’ve been through those classes. I know all the answers when people
ask ‘Why do bad things happen to good people?’ I know the answers to that, but
when I went there and saw it for myself…a lot of the generic theology I had
developed was shattered when I was actually confronted with evil and suffering.
I feel like I had to wrestle with the Lord on that.”
This
unnecessary suffering came in the form of Joao, an
8-month-old with HIV who suffered the fate that millions have suffered before
him. Describing this infant with a soft look in her eyes, Jess smiled at the
memory of holding Joao for the first time.
“He
was wrapped in a little blanket and he was so tiny and I thought ‘He has to be
a newborn, he has to have just been born…’ I started to realize his face was
really sunken in and I realized his breaths were really shallow and I (knew)
there was something really off about the baby. I pretty much knew…that he was
going to die.”
Coming
back week after week for treatment at the Tessa Grace Nutrition Center where
Jess worked, Jess formed a special bond with Joao as she prayed over him and
held him in her arms. With the help of translators, Jess held conversations
with Joao’s father. She learned that Joao’s mother died giving birth and his
father also had HIV.
“The
whole situation broke my heart,” Jess said with a heavy sigh. “When Joao was
getting bad I went and saw him in the hospital. It was just terrible. It was
just a few days later that…one of the other missionaries came and told me that
Joao had died.”
Jess
described Joao’s funeral as horrible. His father held back no emotions as he
wailed in the streets for his son. People followed the car carrying the casket
down the street, paying their respects for the baby that was no longer
suffering. Jess struggled with the fact that millions of babies die this way
every day. She described that she wrestled with the Lord, asking Him why He let
this happen.
“He
revealed to me that He brought missionaries here for a purpose,” Jess said. “He’s
bringing people here to help Him. This is His heart and He chooses to work
through us even though He doesn’t need us…I was reminded of the calling of ‘I
brought you here to see this so that you might do something. So that you might
be my hands and feet because I choose to use people.’”
Daniel
McDonald, also an intern on this trip to Africa, noticed how Jess was moved to
help people in need, both physically and spiritually. As he recounted his
memories from Africa, Daniel’s eyes lit up with passion. His hands talked with
his words as he leaned forward for emphasis. Occasionally he rubbed his hand
across the beard that shadowed his face, digging deeper into each memory. He
recalled how he watched as Jess learned how God reveals His sovereignty to His
faithful servants.
“You
see this poverty…and you see that one person can’t change all of this,” Daniel
said. “It was really tough for her to perceive that one person can’t do all of
that. She was stretched to pray for those people and to trust that the Lord’s
in control and that she can’t heal all of them. There are people that are sick
and that are going to die. I remember she talked about God’s sovereignty and
that was a major part of her time there.”
Struggling
with the sight of suffering and death, Jess had to soften her heart and allow
God to show her that the poor are part of His purpose. She experienced multiple
situations where she saw how God calls His people to minister to those in need.
“There
are hospitals there where the natives are basically on their death beds,”
Daniel described, his eyes widening and growing serious. “We went and fed them
soup. (Jess) was shocked from this picture of people on their death
beds…they’re lying there and you can see their bones sticking out. She was
challenged and grown to the point of (knowing) that there are so many people in
need, not just physical need, but in need of the gospel. I think that was
something that really grabbed a hold of her.”
Upon
returning to the U.S., Jess realized how much Americans hoard their material
belongings. She became filled with the desire to give and began the process of
creating a fundraiser called “Joao Bags.” Her words picked up speed and her
hands began to speak along with her words as she described this fundraiser. She
hopes to raise funds and purchase fabric for the women in Africa to create bags
to sell in the U.S. in order to raise money for the Tessa Grace Nutrition
Center.
“This
is what I want to pour my life into,” Jess said. “(I want to) bring funds to
the nutrition center and expand it.”
Jess
did not expect to struggle with feelings of selfishness or questions asking why
God would let a precious little boy die. She did not expect that within the
first few days of being in Africa she would have the desire of returning home.
But Jess watched as God revealed Himself to her in different ways and grew to
accept that God exposes people to hardships for a reason. Because Jess softened
her heart and listened when God spoke to her, she is now able to share her
experience with others and do what she can to help spread the blessings that
she has received to those that are in need.
