It starts as a small whisper. You ignore it at first, knowing it's useless falsehood. But then, for some reason, it inches its way to the front of your mind.
Why? You know this is a lie. You know in your head, yet your heart starts to believe otherwise. It's maddening.
This frustrating situation is how we, as Christ-followers, grow discouraged. We grow distracted. All from a single thought we know to be false.
I recently struggled with this dilemma. I knew what I was thinking and believing was a lie, yet I couldn't shake it. I felt powerless. I tried crying out to the Lord, I tried Scripture, I tried talking to people of wisdom.
I wish I could say I knew the reason that nothing seemed to help. I must admit my stubbornness came into play. I hated admitting that I felt this way. I didn't want to appear weak to anyone. And yet I felt like a hypocrite who, like Jesus pointed out, appeared white and clean on the outside yet was dirty on the inside.
For the purpose of getting my point across, here's a glimpse into the lie I believed: How can God love me uniquely if He loves all perfectly? How could I be special to Him if He would've sent His Son to earth regardless if I were on it or not?
Sounds silly, right? And yet for some reason, I began to believe it. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe Satan wanted to distract me. Maybe he wanted me to doubt myself as a leader. Maybe he just wanted to give me crap because I'm a child of God.
Whatever the reason, God used for good what Satan meant for evil.
The night came when I felt the full weight of this lie. I was driving home and felt burdened by it all. The road I traveled on was foggy and curvy. I let myself crawl into the hole that was this lie right before a little raccoon raced across the road. My foot slammed on the break.
And yet I hit it.
The thud from this hit proved more than I could stand, and I crawled further still into the darkness of that lie. I soon realized that it was too much, and I decided to simply numb the emotions instead of face them.
Knowing this was the wrong thing to do, I ignored the tug at my heart from the Holy Spirit, and I swallowed every emotion until the only thing left was the winding road in front of me.
And the deer that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. I don't remember it walking out onto the road. I don't remember seeing it before it was right there. My foot slammed on the break.
And yet I hit it.
I still shudder when I remember the deer turning its head, literally caught in my headlights, and the front of my car making contact.
I cried out to God. Why? Why this? Why now? Haven't I been struggling with enough?
And then what Satan meant for evil, God used for good.
The Lord gave me a physical representation of the way He uniquely loves me. He protects me, a way that I feel most loved. When I see or hear someone protecting me, I feel more loved in that moment than if they had actually wrapped their arms around me and told me so.
I can't even count the number of times my Heavenly Father has protected me. Physical, emotional and spiritual protection. He has done this for me. Because He loves me. Because He has purpose for me.
What lie are you believing in this moment? What lie came to mind as you read this? Here's some advice someone gave me, advice that enabled me to see all the ways God protects me.
Write down every way the Lord has proved whatever you are believing to be a lie. Are you believing God doesn't care about the details? Write down every time He has worked out the details for you. Are you believing you have no future? Write down all the times God has brought you through difficult moments.
If you're having trouble combating the lies, when you see the physical proof, those lies don't stand a chance.
Also, remember that you don't need to feel ashamed for those lies. Sometimes we need to struggle first before we can understand more clearly what God desires to teach us.
While saying I'm glad I hit that deer would be a stretch, I'm thankful God brought me out of that dark hole into the light, regardless of the way He accomplished that.
One last thought: If God is trying to get your attention with a little raccoon, don't ignore it and wait until He sends a deer.
