Snapshots of love

It’s so hard for us to fully understand the way God loves us. How can we ever understand the concept that, no matter what we do, God loves us? How can we even begin to comprehend the fact that God is jealous for us? 

I believe that God gives us examples in our daily lives that show us a snapshot of what his love is all about. These snapshots are all around us, and we sometimes forget what they look like. We become so used to them that we have to be hit over the head to start recognizing them again.

I was hit over the head this summer. God blessed me by giving me a beautiful picture of the way he helps us through our pain and suffering. 

After my first surgery, I experienced a few unexpected reactions. These complications caused me to be in so much pain that for the first few days, I could not sleep. Each night was a little different. Some nights, I would watch a few movies in bed, hoping I would eventually just fall asleep. Other nights, I would put on music to try to distract my mind from the pain. But one thing always remained constant during these restless nights: My mom was always right by my side. 

One night, I woke up late into the night and was in so much pain that I could not go back to sleep. My mom took my hand in hers and started speaking to me to distract me from the pain. I still had a few more hours to go before I could take more pain medication, so all she could do was sit there with me, holding my hand and talking to me. 

My mom didn’t take my pain away from me. She didn’t give me any medicine because it wasn’t time for that yet and would not have helped me in the long run. But she sat there with me and helped me through the pain. She spoke to me even when I didn’t respond. She told me I could squeeze her hand as hard as I wanted to and said she would stay next to me for as long as I needed her to.

Not until I was talking to a friend about this did I realize that God used my mom to paint a picture of his love for me. We all have different physical, mental and spiritual pain in our lives. Just because we are in pain does not mean that God is not with us. It’s just not time for our medication yet. We would not be able to respond to healing in the way that God intends if he healed us automatically every time. 

But that does not mean he doesn’t care. It does not mean that he is not speaking to us, coaching us through the pain and telling us that we can hold on to him as hard as we can and for as long as we need to.

The pain I felt this summer was not something that I enjoyed. But from that pain came a stronger relationship with my mom. She showed me what the love of Jesus looks like. All the pain we go through in life can teach us something. And if we so choose, we can gain a better relationship with Christ through the pain. We just have to listen to his voice and let him walk us through the pain. Because the pain will not last forever. But God’s faithfulness does last forever. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."  

The danger of thinking

We all go through life experiencing different firsts. The first time you drive a car. The first time you move. The first time you go out of the country.

A little more than a week ago, I experienced a first in my own life. This kind of first I wouldn’t have minded going my whole life without experiencing, but it was inevitable. I had surgery. Nothing life threatening or terribly dangerous, but that doesn’t mean it has been easy. And in less than two weeks, I have to endure another surgery.

Life post-surgery has been interesting. Thus far, I have learned what it’s like to actually need to ride in a wheelchair, what it feels like to be in so much pain that you cannot stop the tears and what it is like to depend on people for your every need.

But it hasn’t been all terrible. I have now mastered the crutches, and taking a few laps around the first floor of my house is mere child’s play. And, I must admit, I’m not complaining that my siblings are willing to bring me food, pop in movies and retrieve whatever I need for me.

Despite the fact that I have basically been living on the couch for more than a week now, which to some might seem like the good life, I have recently started to feel a little restless. If this was just one surgery, then I would just enjoy the down time and be done with it. But just knowing that this is going to last about seven more weeks makes me restless.

I think about the fact that I am not making any money this summer, and that makes me anxious about college bills. I think about the fact that I cannot do any cardio exercise for who knows how long, and I feel out of shape. I think about how much harder it now is to get together with friends this summer, and I feel out of touch.

Each time I think these things, I come to the same conclusion: I have absolutely no right to be complaining about any of this! I get myself into a destructive attitude by letting my thoughts get out of control. I know that I am not alone in destructive thinking. We all allow ourselves to walk down that path every now and then.

I heard something during a Bible study once that has stuck with me. Every time I allow thoughts to come into my mind that will only cause the destruction of my attitude for the next few hours, I start thanking God for the blessings in my life. I am reminded that Paul tells us in Philippians not to be anxious about anything, and he had learned to be content in any and every situation.

It is then I realize that, while my pain is temporary, some have to live their whole lives in pain. I realize that, while I cannot walk for eight weeks, some cannot walk their entire lives. And I realize my “problems” and the things that I thought were ruining my summer were actually teaching me a lesson from the God who provides me with everything I need.

I would encourage everyone to give this a try. Each time you start to let your thoughts get out of control, praise God for every blessing he has given you. Pretty soon, you won’t be thinking about how frustrated you are with your life. You’ll realize how blessed you truly are.   

Days like today

Days like today are the kind that one pictures when thinking about lazy summer days – the sun is shining, there is a soft breeze blowing and the smell of fresh cut grass, which I happen to love, is drifting in the air. 

Days like today, I just want to lie under a tree with a glass of lemonade and a good book. Days like today, however, are about so much more. Today is not just about getting a good tan or finishing that exciting chapter in my book. Today is about remembering my grandfather and my great uncles who gave so many years of their lives to serving this country. Today is about realizing how wonderful it is to be able to sit under a tree and read a book in a free country.

I cannot understand how people can look at pictures, walk through memorials and listen to stories about brave men and women giving their lives so we can live ours freely and not feel pride. Every time I think of my grandfather, who was a rear admiral in the Navy, and about my great uncles, some of who were POW's, I get an overwhelming feeling of pride. Not only the fact that they fought to ensure a better future for their family brings pride, but also the fact that they fought to ensure a better future for strangers, for their fellow Americans, brings pride.

Today, instead of just enjoying the good weather, we also remember the fallen. We remember those who have given their lives to protect this country. We remember and thank not only the family members, but also the strangers who have put aside a normal life of lemonade and reading books under trees to give us all something that is worth fighting for.    

They fell, but o'er their glorious grave
Floats free the banner of the cause they died to save.
~Francis Marion Crawford