Sometimes I wonder how I’m
going to get through the next two years of college. I wonder how I’m going to
find a job and be able to provide for myself. I get frustrated when my work
load becomes heavy, I get anxious about passing my next final, I get annoyed
when something does not go the way I planned it to go.
I get so caught up in the
worries of this life that I forget why I’m even here. I forget how blessed I am
and how God provides for everything I need. I’ve been realizing lately how
getting frustrated with the little things, and even sometimes with the big
things, does absolutely nothing except put me in a bad mood for the rest of the
day. Why do I give in to these frustrations and worries? Why can’t I remember
how to live each moment for the one who gave me each moment to live?
Two days ago, a 15-year-old young man lost his life after a long battle with leukemia. I didn’t
know him personally, but I have been challenged and strengthened by his
testimony. His body was weakening each day, but his spirit was growing stronger
as he refused to let go of a promise that was made to him.
He was willing to
let go of his dreams, his desires and his life goals in response to God leading
him down a path that nobody can understand. In the midst of his pain, he was
encouraging his friends to not be mad at or question God. He was willing to
follow God through it all, even through the giving up of his
life.
Thinking about his testimony, I was wondering if I would have
the same strength. I was thinking about how trivial most of my problems seem and how I complain about them anyway. I was wondering why I was
complaining about my cold that I’ve had for a mere week.
This is not meant to make
anyone feel guilty or discouraged about complaining and not being joyful all
the time. This is meant to encourage and to help you realize that awesome
promise that we as Christians are all given. Tyler is, at this very moment and
for the rest of eternity, standing in the presence of God and worshiping him in
a way that we cannot even begin to imagine. He is no longer in any pain. He no
longer has any fear.
Just thinking about that creates an overwhelming longing
in my soul to be there too. And I will be. Someday I will be there bowing down
in worship because Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to get me there. Shouldn’t
my life reflect that? Shouldn’t that reason alone give me constant joy? And
shouldn’t I be shouting it from the rooftops so that all people can have this
promise too?
Life will always have trials, and we will always have struggles.
But we do not need to be afraid. We have the ultimate promise that one day we
will be with him who gave up his life in order for us to spend eternity praising
and glorifying him with all other believers. That picture alone is enough to
bring joy to my heart.
In memory of Tyler McGinn
The other day, my brother
said he has observed something about girls. “They act like they’re all
best friends. They’re always hugging, laughing, telling each other they love
them, but the second they’re with a different group of girls, they start talking
about how annoying and frustrating those other girls are. It drives me crazy, and I don’t get it.”
One of my sisters and I said that all girls are like that,
no matter the girl and no matter the circumstance. It was an automatic
response, one that did nothing to ease his frustration but probably only
caused more frustration because of our lack of a solution. In my head, I was
thinking that there is nothing you can do about it. Girls will be girls and
gossip and slander are practically second nature. That doesn’t mean it’s right,
but what can change that?
Looking back on this, I am
ashamed of how I brushed this aside as normal female behavior. As my brother
was talking, I had a slight pang of guilt, but I brushed it aside, thinking that
I am not as bad as most girls. But does that make it any less wrong?
As I sit
here writing this, I am convicted of how often I gossip and slander others.
People hide behind the lie that gossiping is not that bad if you are only talking
among close friends and if you don’t do it all the time. I am amazed at how
Satan has perfected this lie in my own life. And the funny thing is, I know how
it feels to be on the receiving end of gossip. I know the pain and hurt that it
can bring. I have lost a friend because of the “harmless” gossip that people love
to spread. And yet I do it myself.
Why is it that people do not
hesitate to talk behind others’ backs but get hurt and frustrated when they
find out that people have been talking behind their own back? Why is gossip so
appealing?
One of the main reasons that people gossip is because it makes them
feel better about themselves. If they can talk and laugh about someone else’s
mistakes or problems, then their own problems do not seem as bad at that moment.
But how does this help? When that conversation is over, the old problems are
still right there with us. We have not made anything better for our own
problems by picking apart the problems of others.
Gossip is far from harmless. Proverbs 18:8 and Proverbs 26:22 say “The
words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.”
Proverbs 20:19 says “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks
too much.” These are just two consequences of gossiping.
The first consequence
is so important that it was repeated. Gossip is not innocent. It does not
affect only the conversation at hand. It affects everyone involved and will
hurt the subject of the gossip.
Another consequence involves your reputation.
Do you want to be known as the one who cannot keep a secret? Do you want to be
known as the woman who cannot be trusted with any kind of personal information?
Because the more you gossip and slander, the faster your reputation will spread
as someone who can’t be trusted.
In Psalm 41, David talks about his enemies. He
says that when an enemy comes to see him, his enemy speaks “falsely, while his
heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it around.” I challenge you
to not become like one of these slanderers.
I am afraid that I do not
have any concrete solutions to this problem. Saying that gossip hurts and does
not satisfy is much easier written than put into practice. I wish I could give
a step by step plan that would cure everyone from gossip. But I can’t.
I can,
however, leave this advice: Be in constant prayer about it. When you
have the urge to spread some slander, give it to God and ask for his help. He
always gives you the strength to stand up under your temptations. You just have
to be willing to accept that strength and to stand.
