One of my sisters and I said that all girls are like that, no matter the girl and no matter the circumstance. It was an automatic response, one that did nothing to ease his frustration but probably only caused more frustration because of our lack of a solution. In my head, I was thinking that there is nothing you can do about it. Girls will be girls and gossip and slander are practically second nature. That doesn’t mean it’s right, but what can change that?
Looking back on this, I am ashamed of how I brushed this aside as normal female behavior. As my brother was talking, I had a slight pang of guilt, but I brushed it aside, thinking that I am not as bad as most girls. But does that make it any less wrong?
As I sit here writing this, I am convicted of how often I gossip and slander others. People hide behind the lie that gossiping is not that bad if you are only talking among close friends and if you don’t do it all the time. I am amazed at how Satan has perfected this lie in my own life. And the funny thing is, I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of gossip. I know the pain and hurt that it can bring. I have lost a friend because of the “harmless” gossip that people love to spread. And yet I do it myself.
Why is it that people do not hesitate to talk behind others’ backs but get hurt and frustrated when they find out that people have been talking behind their own back? Why is gossip so appealing?
One of the main reasons that people gossip is because it makes them feel better about themselves. If they can talk and laugh about someone else’s mistakes or problems, then their own problems do not seem as bad at that moment. But how does this help? When that conversation is over, the old problems are still right there with us. We have not made anything better for our own problems by picking apart the problems of others.
Gossip is far from harmless. Proverbs 18:8 and Proverbs 26:22 say “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.” Proverbs 20:19 says “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” These are just two consequences of gossiping.
The first consequence is so important that it was repeated. Gossip is not innocent. It does not affect only the conversation at hand. It affects everyone involved and will hurt the subject of the gossip.
Another consequence involves your reputation. Do you want to be known as the one who cannot keep a secret? Do you want to be known as the woman who cannot be trusted with any kind of personal information? Because the more you gossip and slander, the faster your reputation will spread as someone who can’t be trusted.
In Psalm 41, David talks about his enemies. He says that when an enemy comes to see him, his enemy speaks “falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it around.” I challenge you to not become like one of these slanderers.
I am afraid that I do not have any concrete solutions to this problem. Saying that gossip hurts and does not satisfy is much easier written than put into practice. I wish I could give a step by step plan that would cure everyone from gossip. But I can’t.
I can, however, leave this advice: Be in constant prayer about it. When you have the urge to spread some slander, give it to God and ask for his help. He always gives you the strength to stand up under your temptations. You just have to be willing to accept that strength and to stand.
No comments:
Post a Comment