A change of plans

I can remember a time when I had my life figured out – everything from what I wanted to be when I grew up to what I would major in to where I wanted to live. I was confident and felt blessed as I entered college and completed my first year, knowing my life plan while others around me seemed to gasp for air at just the thought of what would happen after college.

All that changed over the course of my second year as God began to speak to me in different ways. I knew he was telling me my life was not going to follow the path I had previously desired. I knew I needed to make a change. But I felt so comfortable, so set in my plans that I resisted. My first year of college, everything went the way I planned. I wasn’t about to change my life goal, everything I had worked for, just like that.

Fortunately, the more I resisted, the more miserable I became. I felt as if I were carrying a burden. My heart became heavy. I was scared, and I knew why. I thought God was asking too much of me. I grew nervous with the thought of him desiring me to do something I was not ready for. This was my life, after all, and I had a plan.

“I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

I wish I could say these words belong to me, my response to God’s gentle whispers. But these were the words of a young teenage girl after being told she would become pregnant through the Holy Spirit and give birth to a son. Not knowing what went through her head after hearing this, these words are all we have for understanding the character of the one who was highly favored by the Lord.

Hearing the words of the angel, Mary must have known the social ramifications this would bring for her and her family. I wonder if she was too overwhelmed at the time to think about it or if the fear of being stoned was in the forefront of her mind. Either way, her reaction is unbelievable. Her innocence is revealed in her question of how this would happen, which is followed by her response of faith and obedience.

“I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

This change in Mary’s life plan could have killed her. It could have lost her the man she was betrothed to. It could have caused her family to completely disown her. And her response? Complete trust that God had it all under control. Knowledge that she is not the author of her life, but she is the servant of the Lord.

I wish this had been my own response as God told me my life was about to change. Yet I resisted, and I didn’t even have to deal with the fear of death nor the fear of losing family over this change. Mary is one of the most inspirational women of history because of her obedience. We are not in control of our future. We do, however, have the choice of either obedience or resistance.

When I gave my future over to God and changed my major, which drastically changed everything about the direction of my life, I felt an unexplained peace. The burden vanished, my heart was no longer heavy. Now, with one semester left of college, I cannot imagine doing anything else. How could I not have trusted that God knew what he was doing? Why did I believe the lie that Satan fed me about not being ready to be used by God?

Mary was greatly troubled when the angel first revealed himself to her. But her fear did not stop her from trusting God and following the path he had for her. My prayer is that with each opportunity and each change God brings into my life, I will learn from my past and learn from Mary as I respond to the Lord.

“I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”